


Tales from the Missing Archives of the Normandy SR-2

by Nerdymum



Series: Missing Archives [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-18
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-01-16 04:57:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1332823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdymum/pseuds/Nerdymum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A "behind the scenes" interpretation of what all happened on the Normandy in their daily lives. This is a "prompt"-based series with no definite number of chapters: a collection of one-shots, if you will. If you have an idea send me a note. If I use it I will credit you. Mass Effect and all recognizable names, places, races, ect. is sole property of BioWare.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Drell and the Doughnut

 

Note: Prompts are taken at the author's discretion. No romances will be given. Shepard's identity will remain a mystery. Enjoy!

It was a rather strange thing to him; a small, round pastry covered in a sticky, sugary syrup. There wasn’t a lot of good nutritional value as it was basically pure carbohydrates. There were others in the large selection that included fruit-jam filled, cream-filled, covered in chocolate syrup, and even a couple with what Kelly called “sprinkles” which were essentially small bits of sugar with bright dyes. He was very skeptical of these “doughnuts” which the humans on the ship seemed to go immediately insane over, but he decided to give one a try, thanks to the Normandy’s pilot.

Shepard had surprised the crew with three large boxes the first morning during the short break at the Citadel. He was about to go after his typical breakfast of herbal tea and yogurt with fruit (one of the few things Mess Hall Sergeant Gardner didn’t touch with his bare hands) when the scent of sugar and frying oil permeated his olfactory senses. He was nearly trampled upon as Grunt jogged down the hall towards the mess, his long tongue licking his lips with hunger. Even more shocking was the line waiting outside the mess where those in the cue chattered and waited with the patience of young children anticipating gifts.

He passed the long line to intercept the water kettle meeting Joker at the coffee machine. Despite his somewhat sarcastic retorts about his career he was friendly to the assassin and even attempted to joke with him. Joker was actually one of the few on board the Normandy who treated him as a normal individual.

“Mornin’, Thane!” he lifted his mug in greeting.

“A pleasant morning to you, Mr. Moreau,” Thane bowed politely. He watched Joker lift the glistening pastry to his mouth and bite a healthy portion with a happy smile.

“Holy shit, I haven’t had a doughnut in ages! Better than sex, man!”

A humored snort escaped the drell’s triangular nose.

“I shall take your word for it,” he retorted in good nature.

“Have you ever had one?”

Thane glanced back at the cue to watch Jacob laugh greedily as he chose what he called a “crueller” out of the box.

“Considering I’ve never had a food that made me orgasm, no,” he quipped.

Joker chucked and began to hobble towards the table where the boxes of doughnuts rested, grabbed one much to Gabby’s verbal dislike, and carefully wrapped a napkin around it before approaching Thane with it.

“Here you go! It’ll change your life!”

Thane unwrapped one corner of the napkin to regard the glazed treat, leery of taking a bite. Out from the corner of his eye he saw Joker wave him on with a nod. The nibble he took was just enough. The shiny glaze was almost too sweet but the fluffy, warm bread under the deep-fried surface mingled nicely and dulled the sweetness into a pleasant taste. It was good! Perhaps not “better than sex” as Joker so elegantly put it, but it was nice.

“See?” Joker beamed as Thane took a second bite, “better than you thought, huh?”

“I believe one shall be enough for me. They are rather sweet.”

“Yeah, the sugar rush is awesome! Then there’s the crash, but it gives you a nice excuse for a nap.”

They continued to chat while Thane finished his doughnut and watched the cue shorten to see Jack at the end, tapping her nails on her forearms with impatience and muttering obscenities under her breath.

“Wow! She actually came up from her hidey hole!” Joker remarked against his mug.

Thane nodded in agreement and shoved the last bite into his mouth. An odd feeling began to creep through his blood, sluggishly at first then, like a light biotic slam, started making his normally steady hands fidget with each other. He felt his heart speed up slightly and the thin, segmented skin and his throat and cheeks flush.

He opened his mouth to ask Joker if there were any unusual ingredients added to the doughnuts such as caffeine (drell were, for the most part, unable to process the drug as it interacted with their physiology in a similar way that narcotics did with humans) but promptly snapped his lips shut as Jack tossed one of the empty boxes off the table.

The mess suddenly went quiet and every eye stared at Jack for a unanimous moment before quickly drawing back down to their own business just in case she saw someone watching her. Thane glanced over at one of the mechanics sporting a fresh black eye. He knew who gave it to him and also noted the mechanic was slowly ducking under the table for shelter.

“Alright, which one of you fucknuggets took the last apple cinnamon fritter?!” the superbiotic asked exasperated. A low wave of denials and shrugs echoed in the room.

Joker leaned over to Thane, gently elbowing the assassin who was carefully calculating how many seconds it would take to run out the door before Jack’s powerful blasts reached his backside.

“Remind me to use ‘fucknugget’ in a sentence before we all become Collector toast,” the pilot whispered.

“I shall prompt you when I consider it appropriate,” Thane muttered in agreement and took a step back towards the wall, ushering Joker behind him.

“Miranda took it,” said Grunt who was probably the only person present in the mess who wasn’t completely afraid of the tattooed rogue. If the room was quiet before it now reached a painful silence. The drell watched Jack’s darkly painted lips curl into a disgusted snarl and her fists ball up tightly. Faint blue sparks of biotic static jumped off her knuckles before she overturned the nearest table, causing a few operators to shriek in surprise and duck for cover.

“You know, I should probably go ahead and make reservations with Chakwas before the med bay becomes the most popular place on the ship,” Joker slowly stepped back closer to the corner.

No sooner did Joker finish his statement did Miranda just happen to saunter into the mess with the remainder of Jack’s “claimed” pastry in her hand. Jack slowly turned around and shot the XO a glare that could’ve petrified any normal person. A low growl exited the drell’s nose. Those who were closest to the door bolted out the exit and away from danger. The rest, including Thane and Joker who had taken to the corner near the coffee machine and the utensil cabinets were left to either be witnesses or collateral damage, depending on the outcome.

“I suggest making those arrangements as soon as possible,” Thane suggested in a quiet voice.

“Well, well,” Jack grinned wickedly. “Look who took the one thing I specifically asked Shepard for.”

Miranda looked down at the pastry in her fingertips and, with a smirk, held it out out to Jack.

“Oh, this belonged to you? I didn’t see your name on it.”

The history of Miranda and Jack was, in the most polite description, the worst kind of rivalry. Only a few knew about Jack’s history with Cerberus as a sick experiment with biotics and humans from the time she was an infant. The only reason she remained on the ship was the fact that she formed some kind of unusual loyalty to Shepard. Her dislike for Miranda thickened to a dark, seething hatred the longer the mission became. Everyone knew this; especially Miranda. But the XO to the commander often displayed her elitist attitude in Jack’s presence. Then again, Thane considered, Miranda held that personification towards everyone, Shepard included.

Jack took a step closer and, in Thane’s limited color range, watched the smaller woman’s face change from red to white. He glanced back at Joker who kept muttering “shit, shit, shit,” under his breath and quickly summoned the faint burning of biotic power into his fingertips. He would keep the force restrained under his will until he deemed it absolutely necessary to form a shielding barrier around himself and the physically weak pilot.

“You did that on purpose, didn’t you, you vindictive, fat-assed bitch?” Jack spat coldly.

Miranda sighed wearily and tossed a lock of her dark brown hair off one shoulder.

“Jack, I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t know you asked Shepard for a specific type. There are plenty more left; take one of those,” she waved towards the other two boxes and started for the coffee machine, her grey blue eyes meeting the frightened stare of Jeff and the warning glare of the assassin. She stopped short when she saw the faint blue glow of residual energy dancing on the drell’s fingertips.

“Thane,” she greeted shortly.

Thane’s long brow plates dropped lower over his large black eyes and his full lips twitched into a faint pout.

“Ms. Lawson,” he quickly declined his head to her, letting the soft growl in the back of his throat become slightly louder.  
Miranda turned back around, threw a hand on her cocked hip, and pointed towards the corner where the drell stood protectively before Joker.

“Do you see this, Jack? People are afraid of you! And this is over a damned doughnut! Don’t you think your reaction is a bit over the top?”

“Fuck you!” Jack spat. “You don’t care about anyone else besides yourself and didn’t even bother to ask if Shepard took special orders this morning!”

“How the hell was I supposed to know?!”

The jittery feeling continued to jump in the drell’s blood vessels and the need to run around to expel energy was nearly overwhelming.

There would be no more doughnuts in his future he mentally reasoned.

“Didn’t bother to ask, now did you?” Jack sneered and slowly began to approach Miranda, throwing a chair out of her way.

“Perhaps Commander Shepard should be alerted to the situation,” Thane suggested to Joker as his sight rested on one of EDI’s ports.

“Not a bad idea,” Joker agreed. “Just, uh, just how good of a biotic are you?” The question came as another chair went flying across the room, legs bent from the hard contact against the metal walls.

“Well enough to protect us from small inanimate objects being launched in our direction but not good enough to keep us alive if Jack decides a doughnut is worth war.”

A loud warping noise filled the room as the rogue launched a ball of energy towards Miranda only to be blocked by a small bubble around the XO. Jack shrieked in anger and rushed at her enemy; fists balled up tight and pulled back in preparation to punch her right in her perfect nose. Realizing that this may be the closest they could get to escaping a very bad situation, Thane began to lead Joker and any others still in the room out towards the exit, a precautionary biotic bubble dispensed around him to act as a shield from any additional flying chairs. No one seemed to be injured but he suggested a precautionary trip to the med bay to Joker just in case.

“Probably no chance that this cat fight could turn into a sexy little make-out session?” Joker teased as he took one last glance back into the room. A ceramic coffee mug shattered against the wall, throwing small shards in the air. Thane grabbed the pilot by the collar of his shirt and jerked him back out of harm’s way.

“I am going to pretend I didn’t hear you say that,” the drell grumbled and led his friend down the hall towards the medical bay.

“Hey, a guy can dream, can’t he?”

O . . . O . . . O

The sugar rush did exactly as Joker said it would. There was an intense surge of energy that wouldn’t go away and the only way he could release it was to take an unscheduled trip down to the ship’s gym. About an hour later, after pummeling the punching bag and running a few miles on the treadmill, the jittery, fidgety feeling was suddenly replaced by fatigue. Thane trudged back into Life Support and dropped down onto his cot with exhaustion.

“Amonkira’s blood,” he swore into his pillow, “I will never touch one of those gods forsaken doughnuts again.”

He let his eyelids slam shut and was nearly asleep when a quiet knock rapped on his door. He grumbled and lifted his head high enough for his voice not to be muffled by the pillow case.

“Who is it?”

“It’s Jeff,” came the reply. With a sigh Thane plopped his head back down into his pillow and allowed the pilot to enter his quarters.

“Do you need something?”

Joker’s labored shuffles stopped at the corner of the long stainless steel table serving as a makeshift desk.

“What the hell happened to you? You okay?”

“Doughnut,” the drell grumbled.

Joker laughed heartily at the statement and took a seat at the table.

“I told you it’d make you want a nap after all the sugar went away,” he shrugged and heard the drell huff at him with displeasure. “Anyway, I came to let you know how the Great Fritter War of 2185 ended.”

“Any deaths to report?”

No, not this time. Shepard came in, with Garrus and Jacob, and was able to separate them. Jack was made to go back to her dungeon and Miranda was forced to file a report of delinquency to TIM.”

“TIM?” one brow lifted with curiosity on Thane’s forehead.

“The Illusive Man. We got tired of constantly using the long title and shortened it. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Commander didn’t make them sit down and hold hands just for added insult.”

Thane chuckled quietly and pulled his blanket up his arms, the need for sleep nagging at him.

“I’m sure that image would be very amusing.”

Joker agreed as he rose to his feet.

“I gotta get back to work. Enjoy your nap.”

Thane yawned and nodded, thanking his company as he left.

When he awoke he decided to take care of a few errands and purchase some necessities before the ship left the Citadel. As he was heading back towards the Normandy he passed a sweets shop, recognizing the logo from the boxes in the mess hall that morning. He walked inside and greeted the owner with a pleasant word before investigating the myriad of treats locked away behind the glass display case. A smile graced his lips and he requested one thing for purchase. Back in the ship he quickly deposited his items in his quarters then journeyed down to the dark corner in the engineering level Jack had laid claim to.

The woman sat on her cot with a datapad in one hand and a dark frown on her features.

“What the hell are you doing down here?” she asked coldly.

Thane tossed the small treat bag onto the foot of her cot and stepped away, hands folded neatly at the small of his back. Jack cautiously grabbed the bag and peered down into it. Her hardened glare softened into a weak smile as she pulled the apple cinnamon fritter out into the light. She was about to take a bite but quickly jerked her hand down and glanced back up at the drell with question.

“What’s the catch, Krios? Is this Miranda’s doing?”

“Ms. Lawson has no knowledge of this. I thought you would appreciate it.”

Jack relaxed again and took a bite of the pastry, the smile returning to her face. For a mere second he saw the anger and frustration fade away to reveal a lovely young woman. Nodding to himself, he turned on his heels to ascend the narrow stairs.

“Hey!” Jack called after him. He turned back around and waited for her to swallow the bite before speaking. “Thanks. I owe you one.”

Thane bowed his head in agreement.

“As long as it is not a doughnut I accept your offering, Jack.”


	2. My My My Poker Face!

Tales from the Missing Archives of the Normandy SR-2

Episode Two: My My My Poker Face!

Disclaimer: This fanfiction has not been written or shared for any monetary profit. All names, recognizable races, and places are sole property of BioWare. Beta’d by n7gvlr. No prompt given for this installation.

Note: Prompts are taken at the author's discretion. No romances will be given. Shepard's identity will remain a mystery. Enjoy!

 

The 52 cards were formed into a short arch forcing each one to file on another creating a slapping sound on the corners before the stack was picked up and settled back into a neat, small brick. The players patiently sat at the round table while the quick, green fingers of the drell flung out two cards to each person then turned over the first three of five “house” cards which would be used as a constant for the players to wage their bets upon. Thane waited for the five players to check their hands and either throw in a small bet or trade in one or both cards. It was decided, unanimously, that due to the drell’s eidetic memory he would act as a monitor and not be an active player. It certainly didn’t hurt that he could keep a keen eye on Kasumi who was known to not be a completely honest sport. 

Zaeed chewed on the end of his unlit cigar and studied his cards for a few seconds before tossing a chip into the pot, followed by Garrus and Jack. He glanced up at the assassin who proved to have the best poker face he’d ever seen. Well, maybe not as good as, say, Garrus or Tali (who politely declined the invitation to check on the ship’s engines) , but Thane didn’t make a single blink that suggested he had been counting the cards or knew who had what. Kasumi, he noticed, was also good. But she had a tendency to smile when she had a hand that was pleasing to her. Grunt looked like he was unsure, perhaps deciding whether or not to eat the two small pieces of paper in his grasp. Inviting the young krogan to the game was Zaeed’s idea.

“He needs to experience the things tha’ grown men do!” he explained to Garrus when the idea was proposed. “Drinking an’ bullshite an’ playin’ a good game of cards. He needs to learn the art of bluffing.”

Garrus scratched a delicate spot under his mandibles as he listened to the old merc give his reasons why the youth should be a part of the socializing. He had seen Grunt get angry, recalling the short length of time he went from point “calm” to point “I AM KROGAN!!” He wasn’t truly convinced that the “boy” could keep his cool if the game didn’t go his way and gave a faint “meh…” to announce his indecisiveness.

“We’ll have the drell sit in. Grunt’s a little skittish around ‘im. ‘Specially after he watched him snap the neck on one of those Blood Clan berserkers back on Tuchanka.”

The turian shrugged and decided to give Grunt a chance. Maybe his time spent gaining his “adulthood” gifted him a sense of patience and maturity. They would soon find out. And, if he acted up, there was always Thane to scare him back into shape, as Zaeed had said.

He was watching Grunt out of the corner of his eye and wondering if this would only turn into a disaster. His signature eyepiece had been removed by gruff request of Jack who thought it would give him the ability to see just what the other players were holding. Most of the time Garrus forgot he was wearing the damn thing, even known to sleep with it on, but the alien feel of not having it on made his hand twitch with the need to touch his “naked” left cheek.

“Your bet, Garrus,” Thane alerted him. Garrus snapped to attention, his ice blue eyes meeting the unfaltering black stare of the drell, and shuddered slightly before throwing his bet into the already growing pile. Thane’s full lips twitched into a weak smile before he turned over another playable “house” card to start the next round of the current hand.

Zaeed glanced around at the rest of his company and shook his head, hand slapping onto the green-felted surface of the card table.

“You lot are the quietest sons of bitches I’ve ever played cards with,” he bellowed loudly, causing Kasumi and Jack to flinch at the sound. Garrus sounded a disgruntled purr in his subharmonics and glared at the uncouth human. As much as he liked Zaeed there were still times when he grated on his nerves.

“Are we supposed to be loud?” Grunt asked in confusion, using one of his cards to pick his teeth. The card was quickly removed from his fingers, wiped on a nearby napkin, and deposited back into the deck, replaced with a fresh card and a warning frown by the drell.

“He means there isn’t much good talking going on,” Jack mumbled and tossed her bet into the pile. “Which, if anyone gives a shit what I think, I really don’t care. I’m just here for the free beer.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ve got plenty of good stories up your sleeves, girly!” Zaeed winked suggestively at her. Jack simply rolled her thickly kohled eyes and sank lower in her seat all while muttering something about “not wearing any fucking sleeves, you old pervert”.

“What are we supposed to talk about?” Grunt’s eyes twinkled with enthusiasm despite the grimace on his mouth.

“Humorous anecdotes, sexual conquests, squeamish subjects; that’s what I understand. Of course, it’s what I read on the poker etiquette document on my omni-tool,” Thane answered coolly and turned over the fifth and final card to be played. Jack snorted and tossed her cards down in frustration, Kasumi grinned and bounced slightly, and Grunt continued to stare at his hand with some confusion.

“Yeah,” Zaeed nodded and sipped his beer. “Humorous anal dotes, er, whatever the lizard said.”

Thane’s right brow flew up his forehead before he sighed and pouted his lips in disapproval of the human’s nickname for him.

“Can we avoid the sexual conquests subject?” Garrus folded and slid his cards towards Thane to which the drell nodded in agreement with the suggestion.

“Where’s the fun in tha’?” Zaeed belched and was given another dangerous glower from the assassin. “Oy, mate, if I weren’t scared of the fact that yer might smother me with a pillow in my sleep if someone paid ya, I’d call ya a pansy for looking at me with that disgusted smirk.”

Thane grabbed Garrus’ returned cards and remained silent.

“And I seriously doubt that you’re as goddam innocent as you’d like to portray,” the gruff human continued. “Said you had a kid which meant you had sex at least once in your life. Unless you reproduce your young like paramecium.”

“I am not at liberty nor wish to discuss my private life with you,” the drell said calmly and watched the end of the round continue between Zaeed and Kasumi.

“So, then, do you not enjoy a bit of a romp in the hay? Or is it kelp since yer from that ball of moist hell ya call Kahje?”

“I do not think it is an appropriate subject amongst younger individuals,” Thane motioned towards Grunt who acted like the only thing he wanted to pay any ounce of attention towards was the corn chip and salsa tray.

“He’s gonna find out sooner or later. Urdnot Wrex says he’s a mature adult by their standards; he can get a good, thorough education tonight. Beat that, Kas!” he chortled with victory as he threw in three of his chips. Kasumi sighed and threw her cards away while she watched Zaeed grab his winnings to sort through it. Thane began to shuffle the cards again.

“I’m hungry,” Grunt grunted and grabbed the tray of snacks.

“Doesn’t Shepard feed you?” Jack snorted. Grunt ignored her sarcasm then scooped a large portion of salsa onto a chip before crunching noisily on it.

“Keiji and I had some fun during jobs,” Kasumi grinned wickedly. “We used to test drive beds in the homes of really wealthy targets. I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t come home to a few interesting surprises other than their valuables stolen.”

There were a couple groans, a hearty laugh out of Zaeed, and another confused regard by the krogan who was still munching loudly.

“How do you test drive a bed? Where did you go?”

Jack burst into sputters and cackles while Garrus rolled his eyes to the ceiling and muttered a prayer to the Spirits.

“To a very special place, Grunt,” Kasumi smiled sweetly and grabbed her two cards into her hands.

Zaeed leaned back in his seat and sighed lingeringly. A wistful sparkle glittered in his good eye.

“Oh, I had some good times when I was younger. Walked around with a perpetual hard on, I’ll wager. Matter of fact, one of my most treasured moments happened when I got my first paycheck from the Blue Suns,” he took out his saliva-dampened cigar and pulled a healthy swig of beer into his mouth. “I was on the Citadel at the time, looking for second-hand bits of armor when the newsfeeds started flashing their fancy ads for Sha’ira’s place. Got me interested, of course. So, I took my arse down there. Granted, I didn’t have nearly enough for the Consort, herself, plus she was booked for decades, but I did manage to buy meself a bit of time with one of her apprentices. Pretty one, she was. Skin the color of periwinkle flowers and a mouth that would make an elcor scream with excitement! She did things to me that was probably illegal in a couple hundred systems.”

Kasumi and Jack laughed while Garrus just shook his head.

“I have a feeling this story is going to have a large dose of ‘too much information’,” he said sullenly. The assassin took a modest sip of his tea and nodded in agreement.

“This story is gonna be a thousand goddam times more interesting than your blasted calibrations, Vakarian! Unless to you ‘calibrations’ has a whole new meaning, eh?” the merc elbowed Garrus suggestively. The turian clicked his mandibles into a smirk and threw a few chips into the pot making Zaeed’s eyes widened for just a split second.

“And even if it did, you’d be the last person I’d tell.”

“I think ya just did,” Zaeed coughed on a laugh and smacked Garrus across his shoulder. The others, aside from Grunt whose interest was still locked on the snack tray, replied with their respective chuckles, chortles, or giggles. “See? Even Lizard thought it was funny!” He decided to continue with his story.

“When you go to the Consort’s place you get this little ticket on yer omnitool, and, depending if ya have to wait long, you can either go about yer business until it’s your time or you can stay at their lavish bar and drink yourself stupid. I decided to stay. So, I’m sitting there, watching some profile vids of the girls which were pretty nice, lemme tell you, when this gorgeous gal comes over and tells me that my companion is ready for me,” he grunted with disappointment when his hand lost the round but went on with his tale much to Garrus’ feigned dismay and Thane’s well-hidden amusement.

“So, there she is, waiting on her bed in this sexy little bit of lace and silk, lookin’ all happy to see me. We get undressed, all rarin’ to go, and, just when I think I’m gonna give it to her good, she takes control! Lemme tell you lot right now; that asari was a genius in her own right! She had me on all fours howling like a varren in heat! She used this black rubber-“

He was immediately halted when Garrus, who had won the round, stood up from his seat and loudly proclaimed his sudden need for a new drink. Jack gave a sad pout but openly snickered as she noticed his disappointed frown. Thane glanced over at Grunt, already preparing a list of appropriate answers should the young krogan start asking away, but felt a touch of relief when he saw that he didn’t show the least bit of interest at all. He did, however, construct a rather impressive pyramid of poker chips.

The game continued well into the night leaving Kasumi and, much to everyone’s surprise, Grunt. Jack had taken to teasing Zaeed and even flirting with him to the point she was forced to sit on his lap for a few moments. She gave him a couple good punches to his shoulder but was laughing hard enough that no one thought ill of it. 

Kasumi grinned from ear to ear as she revealed her cards, a full house. Grunt, who was licking the salsa bowl clean, glanced at her hand, belched, then, with virtually no expression, showed his two cards; two aces with two kings and a queen on the board. The spectators gasped and cheered for the young krogan while Kasumi stared at the ending results with a dropped jaw. Thane gathered the chips and handed Grunt his winnings. Grunt smiled and stared down at the credit chit with open joy.

“I know exactly what I’m going to buy with this.”

Everyone paused and cringed as they waited with the expectation of hearing him say something about a visit to the Consort. Jack skulked out of the room before the answer was revealed.

“I am not giving him that fucking talk!” she declared loudly.

Grunt shrugged and shoved the chit into a pocket “I wasn’t gonna share with her anyway,” he mumbled.

“What are you going to buy?” Kasumi asked, glancing at the other four who wore curious but hesitant expressions.

Grunt grinned and started for the observatory doors.

“There’s an asari on the Citadel I wanna meet.”

“I knew it,” Garrus groaned. “Thanks, Massani.”

“What?” the krogan asked innocently. “She makes that black licorice Shepard gave me. I want more.”

Relief was expressed by the others, especially by Zaeed who laughed heartily as he stumbled down the hallway. Garrus smiled and sighed a lingering note.

“We should do this again,” he suggested to the merc.

“Yeh, we should,” Zaeed nodded in agreement. “G’night, Vakarian. Be careful with those calibrations!”

“That’s, er, not funny,” the turian mumbled and cleared his throat. 

Zaeed laughed again and headed towards the elevator.

“Oh, yes, it is!”


	3. Zen Like a Bawss!

Tales from the Missing Archives of the Normandy SR-2

Episode Three: Zen Like a Bawss!

Disclaimer: This fanfiction has not been written or shared for any monetary profit. All names, recognizable races, and places are sole property of BioWare. Prompt given by Spyke1985.

Note: Prompts are taken at the author's discretion. No romances will be given. Shepard's identity will remain a mystery. Enjoy!

The list of names and careers on the squad of the Normandy should've made any normal person who happens to come face to face with any of them run screaming for their lives. The thought briefly crossed Jack's mind and made her smile her crooked smirk while she "painted" her short nails with permanent black marker ink. She had been told by many on board that she was a disaster waiting to happen. Not that their opinions mattered, although she did seem to hold Commander Shepard's warning as somewhat important for whatever fucking reason, but she didn't like the idea that she may be on the edge of a mental breakdown.

Curiosity also weighed in her mind like an annoying, impossible to reach itch in the form of the Justicar who had been granted a place on the ship. It had been approximately two Earth-time based weeks since the statuesque asari matron made the Normandy her temporary home and, at first, Jack could've cared a less who or what she was. But when rumors started to filter down into her hidey hole she was suddenly filled with some innate need to check this stranger out for herself.

It had been difficult enough for the tattooed superbiotic rogue to allow anyone to get close, let alone befriend, but she made exceptions with a few choice "delinquents". That old bastard of a mercenary Massani was mildly entertaining; Joker was always ready with a healthy dose of sarcasm which was somewhat amusing at times. The thief was nosy and too gossipy but she could tolerate her. The assassin kept to himself, which was perfectly fine to her, but seemed polite. And Shepard was just Shepard. No more needed to be evaluated on that front.

One evening, when her uncharacteristic inquisitiveness got the better of her, she crept out from her "dungeon" and went in search for any news about the mysterious newcomer. The mess hall was not quite half full, but she did manage to catch Kasumi, the gossip queen of the ship, and bug her for any information.

"She doesn't come out of the Starboard Observatory much. She takes a little bit of food and water and goes back inside. I heard Ken and Gabby joke about her casting spells. It's not true, of course, but makes you wonder," the thief shrugged innocently.

Jack narrowed her eyes and glanced down the hallway at the Starboard Observatory. The door resembled the front of a safe; locked and virtually impossible to open. She remembered some of the things that were mentioned about Justicars; cold but fair, emotionless, detached from the whole of society, strict, and extremely powerful. A snort of derision escaped her nose and she started to turn on her boot heels. But, as suddenly as she turned away, she curled her neck back over her shoulder and fixated her eyes, once again, on the round door.

"Fuck it;" she muttered under her breath. "What's the worst that could happen; she tells me to get lost?"

Her footsteps fell heavy down the hallway.

She reached out a hand to ring the doorbell and nearly fell on her backside from her stumbling when the door opened. With hesitation, Jack crept through the entrance. The room, which was one of the largest on the ship, was dark and quiet enough to hear the hum of the engines. One whole wall was a wide window which allowed any visitor to stare out at the seemingly infinite amount of space. Before said window was a lone figure, dressed in simple gray robes, sitting cross-legged on the floor. The back was tall, broad of shoulder, and held perfect posture. The head, which was graced by the typical long tendrils of an asari matron, was bowed and did not move.

A strange sense of fear gripped Jack's guts and she nearly left the stranger in peace until a soft, gentle, but authoritative voice broke the silence.

"Greetings, child. You do not have to be afraid."

Jack swallowed loudly and crept closer, anxious and curious to see what this Justicar looked like.

"I'm not afraid," she mumbled, not completely convinced of herself.

"I can sense your hesitation. You are curious but wary," the tranquility-inducing voice drifted through her ears. "Won't you join me in my meditations?" An elegant, light blue hand swirled over the short carpeting at the Justicar's left hip.

Jack snorted again and shoved her fidgeting hands deep into her pockets.

"I don't meditate. That shit's for boring monks and self-important bastards."

The asari opened her eyes, steel blue and full of wisdom, and glanced up at her guest. A faint smile played on her dark lips, a smile reserved for a patient mother to share with a child.

"Meditation is also for those who need and must calm the chaos in their minds."

"No, thanks," Jack shook her head and stared out at the stars, trails of blue light from the FLS thrusters wisped by every now and again. The Justicar bowed her head and went back to meditating. Hovering at naval level was a faint ball of biotic energy swirling and revolving. Jack's eyes widened with awe.

"What is that?" she asked, causing the asari to reopen her eyes.

"What is what, child?"

Jack was about to snap about the "child" comment but decided it wasn't that important. She pointed at the quickly fading ball. "That thing."

"This is an excess of unnecessary energy; a collection of fears, anger, and hatred. When I have ridded my mind of them I shall vanquish the energy into the Universe. This happens each time I meditate," she explained calmly.

Jack shook her head and smiled cynically as she shuffled back towards the door.

"Yeah, well, my anger and hate fuels me. It's what's kept me alive, so I like having it around."

"You'd be much happier and at peace if you could release such negativity."

"Whatever," Jack shrugged and opened the observatory door.

"If you wish for me to assist you in achieving a calm sense of security I will be here," the asari bowed.

Jack said nothing as she exited the room. She muttered insults and harsh words as she took the elevator back down to her personal space where she collapsed onto her cot in a clumsy, exaggerated heap.

"Release my negativity in some freaky-ass glowing energy ball. Fuck that! I don't need to be all zen and shit. I'm just fine."

O. . . O . . . O

The last mission, while successful, nearly ended in disaster, and all eyes were focused and glaring at one member of the squad in particular. Shepard had left to record notes in the captain's log which meant that the remaining team shifted around the cargo hold restless and obviously uncomfortable around Jack, who locked herself in the shuttle after she received one hell of a scolding from the Commander.

"Can we just leave her there?" Garrus asked as he peered through the window. Jack sat in the passengers' cabin slouched and stewing in her anger.

Tali shrugged and triple-checked her envirosuit to make sure she didn't happen to miss any rips or tears. "She'll be fine. I think Shepard's words were enough. We should just leave her alone."

Garrus nodded in agreement and started towards the elevator with Tali, only stopping for a second to motion for Thane to follow. The drell waved them on and turned his attention towards the occupied shuttle. He gently tapped on the window in order to get Jack's attention but was immediately acknowledged by her left middle finger.

"Jack, perhaps it would be best if you left the shuttle and pushed your mistakes into the past," he suggested gently.

"Fuck off, Lizard! I don't need one of your little 'daddy' talks right now," she snapped.

"You should speak with Samara," he suggested, unaffected by her cold words. "She seems rather curious about you since you visited her the other evening."

"Go away, Thane!"

"As you wish," the drell bowed and allowed a sarcastic smirk cross his features as he stepped away.

Jack picked at the ink staining her nails and went through the typical stages of blaming the rest of the squad for her mistake, to self-hated, to just feeling sorry for herself before she forced her butt out of the shuttle to retreat to her hidey hole.

"'You should speak with Samara'," she mocked the assassin's graveled vocals. "Screw you, Krios! I don't need to speak with some ancient asari crone to know I'm fucked up. I don't need anyone! I should just highjack this boat and do whatever I want."

She flopped onto her cot and stared at the dark metal walls wishing they would erupt in flames. But, deep inside the rational portion of her brain, she realized that her anger and self-pity wasn't helping any. She rolled her eyes and grabbed her blanket, throwing it over her head.

"Stupid!" she mumbled and quickly drifted off to sleep.

It was late when she woke up with the need for the toilet and a snack. She was glad that most of the crew's biological clocks worked on typical circadian time with the exception to a few who had "evening" duties and the "aliens" who didn't need as much sleep. She shuffled towards the mess after finishing her ablutions and searched for something to settle her noisy stomach. The smell of fresh coffee alerted her olfactory senses, luring her towards the pot with the promise of caffeine and internal warmth. She took her usual spot in the far corner, one hand wrapped around a mug and the other hand protectively clasping a stale bear claw which was only edible due to the dip into the coffee richly laden with cream.

The mess hall was empty for a few moments until she looked up to see the drell enter and walk towards the coffee machine, pouring himself a cup full of hot water. The scent of spicy herbs wafted through the air as he drifted past her, heading towards the hallway.

"Hey," she called to him, stopping him in his nearly silent tracks. He turned to regard her, an unwavering stare meeting hers. There was no emotion that she could read on his face, which could at times be both a relief and a real pain in the ass.

"Good evening, Jack," he greeted calmly and nodded to her before starting off again.

"You're into all of that meditation shit, right?" she interrupted his steps again.

Thane blinked both sets of eyelids, taking a quick moment to study the curious human.

"It has certainly helped me to focus my energy away from destructive influences such as anger and fear, but meditation is also a key element in allowing me to connect my body with my soul. Why do you ask?" he shifted on one leg.

Jack shrugged carelessly and stared down at her coffee which was marked on the surface with bits of floating crumbs.

"I dunno," she mumbled before sipping her drink.

"Again, I suggest you go speak with Samara," he suggested. "She would prove to be a much better teacher than me."

"Why would she be any better than you?"

"Because she has spent hundreds of years learning the art of meditation," he replied bluntly and walked back towards Life Support.

Jack's dark eyes swiveled towards the tightly locked door of the Starboard Observatory, and, again, the strange, hesitant feeling crept into her mind. The ancient asari unnerved her and she couldn't figure out why. Maybe it was the fact that she was so very old, maybe it was her seemingly unnatural calmness that bugged Jack.

She sighed, took one last bite of the flavorless bear claw, and stomped down the hallway, banging a fist on the Life Support door to alert the drell that she was about to breach the Justicar's borders.

"If I die it's your fault," she shouted.

If he responded she didn't hear. Her heartbeat deafened her momentarily as she walked through the observatory door. Once again the Justicar was seated on the floor, in her dull robes, holding the floating blue orb between her cupped palms.

"Greetings once again, child," the gentle voice drifted around the large room. "What can I help you with?"

Jack shook her head and wondered how she knew it was her. Did Krios tell the asari she was coming?

"You said you could show me how to get rid of my anger by using one of those energy ball thingies, right?"

The glowing orb faded and Samara's eyes opened to focus on her guest.

"I did, indeed, offer, Jack, and I can; but it will not be easy," she warned.

"Nothing in my life has ever been easy, so," Jack shrugged.

The Justicar patted the spot on the floor next to her and waited for the human to accept the invitation. Jack flopped down, cross-legged but slouched over. A quick slap to the small of her back forced her to sit up straight, but not without shooting a glare at the asari.

"Your life has been nothing more than fuel for chaos to absorb. It has lived in your mind very much like a parasite, giving you nothing for structure and peace. You have to face that chaos and learn to be in control of your life."

Jack snorted and smirked.

"This is so stupid," she muttered as she closed her eyes.

"That is the chaos fighting back," Samara coached. "It does not want to be removed. It will continue to take hold of you, drag you down into the void. You must overcome it. Still your anger, still the frustration, and find a quiet, calm lull."

For a moment Jack sat still and kept quiet. But her mind filled with too many memories. She was back on Pragia, staring at her reflection and hating it. Adults, who were supposed to protect her and keep her safe, were shoving needles and probes under her flesh while she screamed for them to stop She could smell burning flesh from her biotics searing the bodies of the other children who became her victims…

"Fuck this!" she cried out and stood to her feet. She spun on her heels and shoved a finger at the asari, trying to hold back her tears. "This is worthless! This whole meditation bullshit is just a joke, isn't it?"

Samara remained silent but refused to break eye contact with her. Angry at herself and her mind for bringing up the painful memories again, Jack stormed for the door and ran out of the room for the elevator. She held back her tears until she reached her hole. Once she was in the safety of her space she curled up on the floor and sobbed.

But, suddenly, a strange thing happened; a gentle calm settled over her. She wiped the tears from her face, stared at the pools of mascara-thickened saline in her palms, and breathed slowly. The busy anger that constantly barraged her mind with horrible thoughts and self-doubt had faded. She rushed up to the elevator, took it to the residential floor, and walked back into the observatory. A faint smile touched Samara's lips as Jack stood before her.

Her posture had changed, her expression wasn't as dark, and her eyes seemed to sparkle with hope.

"What did you do to me?" she asked evenly.

"I did nothing to you, Jack. You are fighting the chaos."

Jack dropped down to the floor and sat before the Justicar.

"Teach me more."


	4. How to Flirt with Handsome Cops

Tales from the Missing Archives of the Normandy SR-2

Episode Four: How to Flirt with Handsome Cops

Disclaimer: This fanfiction has not been written or shared for any monetary profit. All names, recognizable races, and places are sole property of BioWare. Prompt given by mythlover20.

Note: Prompts are taken at the author's discretion. No romances will be given. Shepard's identity will remain a mystery. Enjoy!

It felt good to be wanted again. Most of the faces were different, but the few she recognized from before was a comforting factor. The facilities were larger and her equipment was so state-of-the-art that she wondered if she was even needed other than to double-check patient charts. But knowing that her bedside manner was certainly more amicable than anything a cold med-programmed LOKI mech could provide helped her ego as a doctor somewhat.

Aside from her daily routines of seeing patients for scheduled check-ups and harassing Joker to come in for his injection of pamidronate, she had a bit of time on her hands. There wasn't a slew excitement, even during the aftermath of the trips scheduled for Shepard and the squad-mates, and, much to her surprise, not many injuries occurred. She had medi-gel to thank for that. As a matter of fact, other than the few times she and her staff of overly-competent medics were needed for a rare emergency, there wasn't a whole lot to do.

But there were those few on-board who needed medical attention regularly, which continued to give her that sense of purpose. She made it her responsibility to check on the drell when he wasn't busy meditating or out on missions and even found his company quite relaxing when he allowed her to administer the prescribed meds Keprals, but he certainly wasn't social.

There was one person on the ship, aside from Shepard, who became her closest friend. The petite quarian who had taken the ship's name as her own was perhaps the sweetest and most intelligent individual she'd ever been privileged to know. And also the funniest. There was an understated humor to her that Karin found utterly hilarious, especially when Tali was frustrated. Her colorful obscenities never failed to make the older woman snicker in open amusement.

One evening, during a moment of quiet down-time in the portside observatory, the two had taken to lounging on one of the long sofas to watch "Fleet and Flotilla"- Tali's choice since Karin lost a bet. Drinks of the alcoholic kind had been quaffed by either martini glass or, in Tali's case, "emergency induction ports", and spirits were lifted both physically and metaphorically.

The junior female sighed longingly during one of the more romantic moments of the film, the side of her masked face plopped into her right palm as she gazed in adoration at the picture on the holoscreen.

"Oh, it's so sweet, the way they look at each other," she mooned. "Their hands clasped together, her desire to see him without the mask. Oh, if only I could feel that just once!"

"There's no handsome young man waiting for you back home?" Karin teased, gently brushing her fist against the quarian's shoulder.

"If only I had time," Tali shook her head. "After the first run, two years ago, I have been constantly running errands for the Admiralty Board and my father, attempting to prove my worth as an adult. I've barely had time to stop and check my suit to make sure there weren't any damages done, let alone become romantic with anyone."

Karin watched the pale white glow of Tali's eyes dim beneath the dark purple glass of the mask.

"What about Kal'Reegar?" the elder winked suggestively.

"Reegar is a fine man, a great soldier, but-" she sighed again. "I don't know, Karin. I sometimes feel that I'm doomed to be single forever."

"Being single isn't so bad. There are good points and bad points to remaining in a perpetual 'bachelor' status. I have dealt with my share of loneliness, to be sure, but I've also discovered quite a bit about myself and about relationships," her soft voice rolled within the sophisticated British accent.

"You never married?" Tali asked, suddenly intrigued.

"Hell, no! Medicine was my most faithful lover and I have devoted my life to it for as long as I am still breathing on my own. But the occasional fun is certainly had."

"You devil!" the quarian teased. "Do tell! I'll bet you have a thing for uniforms."

"Oh, be still my heart, a uniform is my undoing. And I'll tell you a secret right now, the soldier boys, if they're single, are always a sure thing. But the real challenge lies under the navy blue of a police officer's collar."

Tali's eyes widened in surprise and her mask's respirator lit up as she giggled. "Really? What makes a police officer so different?"

Karin took another long sip of her very pink drink and leaned forward, a lazy smile crawling up her lips. Her bright green eyes sparkled with mischief, a glitter of youth that kept her young.

"When a soldier's on duty, they're completely focused on the goal at hand. We've both seen this when we look at people like Shepard or Mr. Taylor; when they're on the job they're strictly warriors, but when that time is over they allow themselves to relax and have fun. Police officers, especially of the C-Sec variety, never stop working. It's their code which keeps them civil servants all hours of the day, and that's what makes them so fun, because if you can get them to lower their guard," she laughed and shook her head. "Oh, what fun they can be!"

"You mean they let you break the law in public?"

"No, not in public, but I'm sure some laws were jeopardized behind a few closed bedroom doors," Karin grinned wickedly.

"Karin Chakwas! You evil woman!"

Karin glanced out the long window and regarded the bright silver glow of the port where they had docked at the Citadel.

"You know, there are plenty of handsome, bored cops out there. Perhaps you just may find yourself a willing Bellicus to sweep you off your feet."

Tali giggled again and covered her mask with her hands, signaling that she was blushing.

"I couldn't! What would I even say?"

The older woman stood up and plopped her hands down onto her hips, jutting out the left one just a little, while flashing a flirty pout.

"You say, 'Why, hello, Officer Handsome, I've been a very naughty girl and need corporal punishment.' And then watch their resolve break!"

"But, m-my immune system-"

Karin pulled Tali off the sofa and dragged her out the door toward the Med Bay.

"You need antibiotics, eh? Darling girl, I'll have your innards swimming in medicinal goodness, if that's what you want!"

"Let's just see what one will do first. I'm not so sure I'm ready to involve myself in a one-night stand. " Tali suggested, half-way struggling.

Karin stopped, reached into her personal cabinet and retrieved the nearly empty bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy, taking a quick pull of the bright blue liquor.

"Alright, if that's what you want. I suppose we can see if any of them will nibble at our bait," she clapped her hands and wrapped an arm around Tali's shoulder while leading her out of the Med Bay. "Ms. vas Normandy, let's go find us cop to play with!"

Despite the façade of "nighttime" hovering in the Citadel's manufactured atmosphere, the Zakera Ward was still plenty alive with a variety of people walking around and minding their own business. A few shops were opened, giving Tali and Karin a chance to build up their courage, and their inebriation (due to Karin sneaking a couple of flasks into her pockets) while they shopped. A bright aqua scarf, covered in beaded fringe, was draped over the quarian's head. She laughed as she flicked the fringe, causing the small beads to tap against the glass of her mask.

"You look sensational, darling girl!" Karin stated loudly, hiccupping after the compliment.

"I feel like dancing. We should go to a club!"

"No, no, not yet. We have a slew of officers of the law to ogle over first. Then if we're not arrested, or snogging some handsome cozzer, we'll tear up the dancefloor. Shall we?" the human stuck offered her elbow, stumbling just a bit before she retained her posture.

Arm in arm, the two began to parade down the walkways, harassing a few Avina terminals for their own drunken amusement. Several C-Sec officers were seen patrolling the area, giving the inebriated women a chance to whisper appreciative comments back and forth while not paying them much attention.

"What about that one?" Karin pointed out an attractive young human male with dark hair.

"Meh, he's alright, I suppose," Tali shrugged. "But he looks too easy."

"Maybe. Her?" the doctor nodded at an asari who was scanning the ward with a speculative eye.

"No," Tali sighed. "I've never really been attracted to asari."

They were quiet, despite the open drunken giggling, until Karin was surprised by a sharp smack to her arm. She snapped to attention and looked up at the quarian who was intently focused on a tall, muscular turian leaning against the walkway railing.

"Keelah!" the younger woman breathed.

"Strikes your fancy, does he?"

"Very!"

"Well, then, go for it!" Karin pushed her forward. "Get Big Boy's attention!"

Tali looked at the handsome officer then back at Karin with trepidation. The alcohol allowed her to be bolder than she normally was, but it didn't completely boost her confidence. Flirting always seemed like a daunting task, something she didn't regularly practice.

Karin waved her on, then posed by cocking out her hip and fluffing her chin-length silver hair.

Nodding resolutely, Tali brushed any visible wrinkles off her new scarf and suit before switching her hips into a half-clumsy saunter toward the cop.

The turian, realizing that he was being watched, looked up from the report on his omni-tool, and rested his sites on the quarian before him. He could smell the faint residue of alcohol wafting from her respirator and noticed the faint wobbling in her step. His brow rose in question when he watched her tug shyly on the bright scarf still wrapped over her hood.

"Um, can I help you, ma'am?" he asked warily.

"I don't know, can you?" she teased as she dropped her hands to her curvy hips.

"Ah-hah, very funny. Now, unless you need my assistance for something important, I'll ask you to be on your way. And I suggest you get some sleep. I think you need it."

Tali glanced at Karin, the familiar creeping of anxiety sobering her. She was relieved when the human rushed to her side, but that feeling of safety was shattered when the human pushed her closer to the officer.

"Actually, my friend here does need your assistance, officer. You see, she finds you quite attractive and was wondering if you wouldn't mind 'reading her her rights', as it were," she flirted.

"Oh, no," Tali groaned and dropped her head into her hands.

"Ladies, I really think you should both go sleep your current condition off, okay?" the officer suggested.

"Would you like to help her sleep it off?"

"Karin, I-hiccup!- really think we should do as he says," Tali whispered and leaned wearily against her friend.

"Oh, you hush, young lady! You said you wanted to find yourself a cute cop to play with and you've found him. Good sir, if you'd be so kind, we'll ask you to slowly strip yourself of that rather tight uniform and show my friend just how effective C-Sec training has been for you."

They watched as the officer stood up to his full height, flexed his broad shoulders, then opened his omni-tool once more. Karin flashed Tali a wry, knowing grin.

"Please, both of you, turn around and place you hands behind your backs," the turian commanded.

"Ooh! Now the fun begins! Tali, this is called foreplay."

The quiet click of cuffs being snapped around her wrists immediately quieted the boisterous woman. She watched Tali's shoulder droop and eyes narrow into a scowl for her while the officer announced their arrest.

O . . . O . . . O

Her head ached and her back was terribly stiff from sleeping on the rather uncomfortable cot in the detention cell at C-Sec. When she rolled over, she groaned in pain as a bright light hit her slowly opening eyes. Lying next to her was Tali who was still asleep. The pretty beaded garment concealed her mask but left her respirator uncovered. Gently, Karin pulled the thin blanket up to the quarian's chin, then sat up.

"Well, well," a familiar voice spoke up, tinged with cynicism. "Look who decided to wake up. Your ship's captain has been informed of your incarceration and has sent someone to retrieve you and your friend."

Karin looked up to see the handsome turian officer grinning at her. She moaned in disgrace while dropping her throbbing head into her hands with a slap.

"My deepest apologies, Officer, uh,"

"Haron. Sergeant Haron, to be exact," he puffed out his chest with pride. "I should, under normal circumstances, put this arrest on your permanent record, but I have a good feeling that you've both learned your lesson. Besides, the rousing version of 'Fire in the Courtyard' performed by you and your lovely companion was actually very entertaining. Once your courier arrives, I'll let you go with a stern warning of 'don't do that again'."

Karin smiled weakly, a hand going to her nauseated middle, and nodded.

"You have my word, Sergeant," she promised.

He left her alone just as Tali finally rose, beads softly rattling as the scarf fell to the floor. The quarian grumbled and growled while pushing herself up.

"Karin," she rasped, "we just spent the night in jail, didn't we?"

"Yes, my dear, we did."

"And Shepard knows that, right?"

"Most certainly."

"Crap," Tali growled and flopped back down, covering her head with the blanket.

Garrus arrived at that moment and escorted the two out of the cell. He didn't say a word, but the smirk twisted on his mouth along with the amused twinkle in his eyes was enough to fill the two with deep shame. Karin and Tali wordlessly followed him back to the Normandy and prayed that they wouldn't receive a visit from Shepard or Miranda.

After receiving a hypo of electrolytes and pain-killers, Tali decided to hide out in Engineering. She was relieved to discover that Ken and Gabby were not around and was sure Jack wouldn't bother to come out of her hidey-hole. She was sure that news of her and Karin's arrest would spread like wildfire throughout the gossip mill, no doubt receiving a good stoking by either Kasumi or Kelly. It was best she avoid that scene and attempt to do her job, despite the nausea and the dull throb in her brain.

The soft hiss of the door opening made her inwardly groan and wonder just what kind of a tongue-lashing she was about to get. Slowly, she turned around and was outwardly relieved that the "invader" wasn't Shepard, or Miranda, or anyone who could've made her day any worse than it already was.

"Are you feeling any better?" Karin asked.

"Physically, yes, I am. But, emotionally, I'm about as guilty as a kid with her hand stuck in the sweets jar. Has Shepard talked to you?"

"No, not yet, but I have a feeling we'll never live this night down for quite some time," she chuckled. "I've been informed that you have a visitor up on the CIC deck. You should go see who it is."

A kind but wry grin inched up Karin's tawny lips.

"Oh?"

Cautiously, she jogged to the elevator and took it up to the ship's main level. She nearly fell onto her face when she was forced to come to an abrupt halt after trying to rush out the lift's door. Standing just outside, still in the dark blue uniform of his post, was Sergeant Haron. In his hands was the fringed scarf and on his face was a sly smile.

"I thought you'd like to have this back. Normally, we just place these kinds of things in our 'Lost and Found' box, but…" he shrugged and held the cloth out for her.

Relieved that the dark glass hid just how red her cheeks had become, Tali took the scarf and pulled her hands up to her heart-line.

"Thank you," she cleared her throat when she felt it tighten from her embarrassment. "Um, wh-why, aren't you going to be reprimanded for stepping off the Citadel?"

"I'm off duty," Heron shrugged nonchalantly. "And I heard that the Normandy was undocking today."

"I appreciate it. And I want to apologize for my, er, how I was acting last night. I'm normally not so forward. Or so drunk."

"Understandable, although, I didn't mind your compliments, if what you said was true," a glimmer of hope twinkled in his eyes.

"Well, I-I do tend to be blunt when I'm, uh, y-you know, under the influence," she toyed nervously with the scarf's fringe.

"Do, ah, do you come to the Citadel often," the turian shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his trousers.

"Not really. Only when Shepard schedules it."

"Oh, well," Heron pulled a small card out of his pocket and gave it to her. "If you ever get the chance to come back, you can call me at this number. It's my private console line. I'd love another serenade from 'Fleet and Flotilla'," he flashed a charismatic simper before walking away.

Feeling a touch light-headed from the shocking flattery, Tali giggled and bounded toward the elevator, making her way to the Med Bay to show Karin the card all while humming the theme song to the movie that started this whole mess. She decided that whatever punishment Shepard or Miranda had in store for her, last night was absolutely worth it.


End file.
